Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Love and Hate

And it's not even Cookie's fault! But I do love my Cookie.
Okay, icky friendy stuff aside.
I love The Loopy Ewe. Can I just tell you? I ordered my bag (which I also love) on Friday morning. The darlings packed it all up and shipped it the same day (after writing a personal welcome to the Loopy Groupies on the invoice) and it was waiting for me on Monday when I got home from work. LOVE the service. Also, love the perks. This was my sixth order, so in with my bag and my lone ball of Trekking, there was another tote, a pattern in a nice sleeve, a skein of my favorite sock yarn (CTH) in my favorite colors, a keychain and a little bag of mints. Now people, I am a bargain shopper when it comes to yarn (see below for more on this) and they aren't marking up all their stuff more than any other shop I see. I think they just like to make customers happy.


Also, I LOVE my new bag! This thing really has enough room for the better part of a sweater, plus all the stuff I usually try to stuff in my purse. It's going to make a fantastic diaper bag, and it's so soft I can't stop petting it. (Plus it's all cruelty-free and stuff, not like I really care about that when it comes to soft leather, but still) I am a fan. Even the DH complimented it.


Now for the hate part. I hate my attitude about myself and money. (Not my attitude problem. I am PERFECTLY fine with that.) Ages ago I got myself into some heavy debt, and got into the habit of not buying ANYTHING useful for myself unless it was completely unavoidable. I wore the same clothes for YEARS, I used my chipped dishes and grocery-store-cooking-aisle flatware, I saved my cups from Taco Bell. Somewhere along the line, laziness trumped frugality, so I bought junk food and ate out a lot, while still denying myself the ability to buy anything useful. Even after the debt was gone, or mostly. Enter DH, who is a spendthrift extraordinaire. The man can find more reasons to spend money than a knitter standing next to a bin of half-off Sea Silk. I have curbed his spending somewhat, but also managed to ingrain further that I Should Not Spend Money on big stuff. I will piss away a little here (Target) and a little there (Costco) and still eat out, but I AGONIZE over spending money on, say, a diaper/knitting bag, or maternity clothes. (People, I am 22 weeks pregnant and still squeezing into my pre-preggo clothes. Hooray for low rise.) I have been thinking about yarn for Linden for, well, since the day that pattern became available. I asked my dear Joan, who has exquisite taste in yarn even though she voluntarily knits with Noro, and she suggested Beaverslide. I have heard fantastic things about Beaverslide, and every blogger I read who's knit with it loves it heartily. Margene, the aforementioned Joan, Jared, Cara, all raved about it. I've wanted to try it and here's the perfect chance, it's from Montana, and I have been waffling for WEEKS. Because it's expensive. It's not too expensive to afford, it's still less than a comparable coat at the store, and it gets rave reviews. But I have to argue with myself to say I deserve it. WTF is that, people? I think nothing about dropping $50 on a meal out, I buy lipsticks when I'm depressed and could easily spend the cost of that yarn at the salon getting a cut and some shampoo. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME why I will spend chunks of cash on fleeting things like food and haircuts, why I will piss away $20 here and $15 there on trifles and nothing, and can't bring myself to spend $30 on a pair of pants or buy the Good Yarn that would be perfect for the sweater I actually DREAM about? What the hell is my problem?
And also, shopping for real estate bites ass. Especially when you aren't even in the same freaking state as the shopping. And the husband, who does most of the communication with the realtor, does not entirely listen to the wife. I need to punch something.