How to tell if you're from AZ
- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
- You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
- You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour...and it will be over 100 degrees.
- You discover in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
- The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
- You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.
- You can make sun tea instantly.
- Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
- It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- Sunscreen is sold year round and kept right at the checkout counter.
- You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.
- Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse.....some fools actually try to jog.
- You can pronounce Saguaro, Tempe, San Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, Cholla, Gila and Tucson.
- You can understand the reason for a town named "Why"
- You can fry an egg on the hood of a car in the morning.
- You know hot air balloons can't rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
- You see two trees fighting over a dog.
- You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.
- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River
- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves
- You hear people say "but it's a dry heat!"
- You buy salsa by the gallon.
- Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
- You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
- All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
- You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
- Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."
- You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
- Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
- Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
- Most homes have more firearms than people.
- Kids ask, "What's a mosquito?" (ETA: NOT TRUE)
- People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
- You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
- You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
- You take rain dances seriously.
- When it rains, everyone smiles and talks about the great weather.
- When you drive two miles around a parking lot looking for a shady place - even in the dead of winter.
- You feed your chickens ice cubes to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- You "hug" a cactus only once in your lifetime.
- When you have to look up "mass transit" in the dictionary.
- A hundred ten in the shade is sorta hot, but you don't have to shovel it off your driveway.
- A haboob happens.
- Petrified doesn't mean scared.
- The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- You've lived in AZ your whole life and have never been to the Grand Canyon
- You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
- You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- You realize that snowbirds aren't really birds at all, but just really bad out of state drivers that you learn to hate
- There are only two temperatures, hot and hotter
- Even thinking about not having air conditioning makes you sweat
- You travel out of state and any sort of humidity nearly kills you
- You have no idea why 48 other states (Hawaii doesn't do it either) insist on changing their clocks twice a year for this thing called "daylight savings time"
